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  • Dave LaPointe

Friday Thoughts IX

More Adele, a 13 year old blog post and #GreatBandName.


I've never really had anything specific against Adele's music. I've always been keenly aware that she's an outstanding singer, but I wasn't as keen on her songwriting prowess. Yes, I did know that the songs she writes are autobiographical. What I didn't know is that she's the lone lyricist on almost all of it. It's fucking awesome, to be honest. She's managed to turn her life experience into a brand and an industry while making great music.


Here's the thing though, this has been said a billion times already by a billion people, but this blog isn't written by a billion people. It's written by a stumpy, 43 year old, know nothing white guy who's finally come to this conclusion. "Easy On Me" is about her telling her kid that said kid's parents are getting divorced and I'm entirely transfixed by the song! It's fucking incredible!


In hindsight, I now realize that I just basically repeated everything that I said on #95. I'm a shitty podcaster AND a shitty blogger.


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Speaking of being a shitty blogger, I had to be on Facebook last week to fight an Instagram issue and my "Memories" featuring a blog post that I made there 13 years ago. I'm not sure how this wasn't shared the world over, but my guess is that I was just rehashing a general, long held belief about "The Last Dragon":


October 7, 2008:

So I just caught the ending of "The Last Dragon" the 1985 classic by Berry Gordy. I just happened to jump in right when Leroy was in the warehouse looking for the "Master" only to discover that the "Master" was really within himself. It was then that I realized that if we all lived our lives like Leroy then the world would be much better. Enjoy the list of life lessons I learned during the final 23 minutes of the film: -If you search deep within yourself you'll find that all of life answers are in you! -Hard work will pay off in the end and you'll be a kung fu master. -There's never been a more star studded cast: Chaz Palminteri, William H. Macy, Rudy Huxtable and a young Ernie Reyes, Jr. which proves that, like in life, you'll either be a star, a has-been or a never-was. -The Hot Chick will want to nail you if you act shy and insecure while having a world-class physique. -Standing up and fighting your enemy/inner demons will ultimately end with him/it unconscious in a cooling bath at a steel mill. I assure you that each of you will learn a lesson that will stay with you for the rest of your lives. "The truth will be revealed only to eyes unclouded by desire." -Leroy Green

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I just started an excellent hashtag that I'm very proud of: #GreatBandName. I should be paid for just coming up with band names, but since that won't happen, I'm offering it free of charge to those punk kids in a basement somewhere, a bunch of assholes in a 3rd floor apartment or the A/R guy at Capitol who's got a great band ready to break, but they're called something fucking stupid like "Arctic Monkeys" or "Coldplay."


I shared a few with my pal, Donny from The Quiet Violent (which is an excellent band name) and today I saw a story about Pablo Escobar's hippos. Seems Pablo liked animals and had a ton of them brought to his property where he created a zoo. There were 4 hippos and when Pablo was offed in '93, authorities got all of the animals out to other locales with the exception of said hippos. If you're not familiar, hippos are huge assholes. Just nasty creatures who eat far more than little white marbles and then shit anywhere they please.


At any rate the first #GreatBandName was obvious: The Cocaine Hippos. Honestly, that's fucking gold. "Ladies & gentleman...THE COCAINE HIPPOS!!!" and then they play some trashy faux punk crap that the kids eat up. I'm hoping that'll take off on the Twitter and the Instantgraham. In the meantime, here are a few more gems free of charge:


Two Lonely Johns - this only works if there's more than two people in the band neither is named John.

Dank Panties - only if their a lousy punk band. It would be funnier it was all female.

Insemination - can only be a death metal band with the standard undecipherable death metal font


I assure you that most will not be as graphic, but that's just how the game is played. I don't make the rules. Well maybe I do.


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Anyways...that'll do. Remember to check out the merch store for stuff you really don't need/want. Have a great week and stay out of trouble.


Cheers.

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