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  • Writer's pictureDave LaPointe

Jobs, LinkedIn & Coconut Water

One of these things is not like the others.

More than a month or so ago, I got a call from a recruiting company that I had interacted with once last summer. I had submitted my resume shortly after my rash and entirely unjust dismissal from Wayfair to a posting on LinkedIn. It was really a throw away submission as I was simply casting an absurdly wide net in trying to find a new job.

At any rate, this recruiter said that they had an opportunity in my area that they thought would play well to my strengths: having a pulse, an occasionally functioning brain and a background in account management. Sure, I have a job now, but it never hurts to explore new opportunities and I was familiar with this company so I thought why not.

After a standard interview with the recruiter by phone, I was then lined up with the person who would potentially be my boss at the local company for a follow up interview via Zoom.

(Side note: remember when Zoom was not much more than a nuisance? Used almost exclusively by Silicon Valley wannabes or startups flush with Series A funding that thought sales couldn't be done by phone or email? Maybe that's just how I felt. Probably.)

The woman I met with was nice, but turns out the role was wildly different than what I was initially pitched. It was more or less being a traffic manager AND an account manager for an incredibly interesting venture that this company was involved in. I was fascinated to some extent, but a bit nervous as it was a.) something I'd never done or had thought to do previously. And b.) not quite life or death...but kinda sorta life or death. Before the Zoom was over, I expressed my interest strongly. It was a great conversation and I was excited. I even forwarded her a Washington Post article that was loosely related to their mission after the interview.

Fast forward a couple weeks and the recruiter sends an email for another scheduled Zoom call for this role. Great. This time I'd be talking to someone who was not directly affiliated with the company. Odd. Even the recruiter wasn't entirely certain how this person was involved. That new person then reschedules the Zoom which I happily and easily oblige and then it's time to talk. As you may imagine, this odd and long winded story is just going to get more odd and long winded.

During our conversation, I learn that this person is not at all associated with the role that I'm applying for and has no knowledge of its day to day function. Rather, they were a consultant for this company who owned their own business in sales training. I was surprised which I expressed but we continued on. I asked questions about what they knew about the role and what kind of expectations one would have if they were to take the job. The answers were vague but not surprising given what I knew this persons loose association was.

Fast forward another couple of weeks and I get a call from the recruiter. I was excited to answer as this job piqued my interest even more given the work that they're doing and the kind of impact that I could have. Turns out the call was to tell that I was being passed over for the role. Of course, I was disappointed, but hey, it happens. What can ya do, right? I asked for feedback as I'm wont to do and she was more than eager to share. She said "They said that you were unprepared for your last interview."

Seriously. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was "unprepared" for an interview with a person who knew nothing about the role, was nothing more than a consultant and was nothing but a sales trainer. I was going to simply end the call and move on, but I really couldn't. I said to the recruiter as she was getting ready to hang up "Actually, ya know what? That sucks. I'm sorry, but that just sucks." I understand if they said I didn't have the right experience, but to say that I wasn't prepared is such a fucking slap in the face. I was prepared to talk about the role, but this fucking useless charlatan knew nothing about it!? I've never been so fucking pissed about getting turned down for a job and trust me, at this point I've probably been turned down for hundreds upon hundreds of jobs and the overwhelming majority of them are because of me and not them.

I just need to get that off my chest. I'm still genuinely confused by the entire process as well as being incredibly pissed and disappointed. Ok, well, that's it. Onward.

LinkedIn Is Dumb

The premise of LinkedIn as a social media outlet for professionals is sound, but when people get on there and either think they're King Shit or funny, it ruins the entire outlet. Take a look at this guy...

Like...what the fuck is going on here? If this guy came across my feed offering a job and then I saw THIS shit post, why on Earth would I respond? Sure, he's trying to be funny, but it's nothing remotely approaching funny and it's cringeworthy as all fuck. I don't know Mr. Karpiak and he may be a nice guy for all I know, but if I did know him, I'd tell him to delete this shit. It's not serving any professional purpose nor is it funny which is the biggest offense of them all. The worst part is the number of people who reacted to this shit as if it's a Trump post on Facebook from a "Impeech Joe Bidan" page. All of these folks are so bored by their own lives that they felt the need to click something or say something. And no, I didn't go into the comments because either way, I'd come out dumber than when I started.

Coconut Water Is Excellent

That's really it.

Tah-tah. Try the veal. #TellYourFriends

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