When does asking yourself this question over and over again become too much?
As I sit here during another lunch break from what is currently my "job", I again ask myself "Ok, now what?" This is something that I've done regularly over the course of my 43+ years on Earth and there's never been an actual answer. I envy those that have created a path for themselves with any sense of purpose as I'm not really able to suss that out for myself. I just don't know. It's a bullshit answer, yes, but it's really the only one I've got.
After reading that paragraph I think I've stumbled across my 25th or 26th existential crisis. I've lost count, to be honest. They come up like the Olympics...both winter & summer so roughly once ever couple of years, but sometimes I'll have 2 or 3 in a span of a year like I did back in 2012/2013. Yeah, it was a bit of a roller coaster then. I got through it just fine which is usually how it goes, but it doesn't make it any easier.
At any rate, that question "Ok, now what?" never really pertains to anything specific, but rather a general point in time where I take a look around and try to figure out what else there is. I suppose it could be general depression or anxiety or maybe I'm just bored. At any rate, I'm stagnant and not moving which sort brings together all three at one time. Today's the first time I've given it enough space to actually write about it, but given the current views to this blog, it's safe to assume that this'll be ignored like much of the nonsense I've done.
I'm just not sure of what to do. Or what I'm supposed to do. I'm sure as shit not alone in feeling this way. Not even close, that much I'm sure of. Doesn't make it any easier to manage though. I guess I'll just float my way into something else that'll get me excited or hopeful for a minute and then come back to my next existential crises.
This kind of sucks.